Routine

I know that I have been terrible about keeping you all posted about Calvin and how he has grown. Really it has been a whirlwind. It feels like just a little while ago I had my baby. The next moment I looked, I was back teaching, and now it is summer. At the end of the school year, I realized that I really didn't know my baby (at least I felt that way). That mommy guilt is a powerful thing when you go back to work. I know that it is good my son learns to trust others, but it still doesn't seem fair that I had to go back so soon. I didn't know when he ate or slept during the day. Now that I have had some time with him, I think that Eric and I have been exhausting Calvin over the weekends.

Anyway, here is my first real entry about being a mommy. I love my boy. He has always had really terrible skin. I thought it was because Eric has terrible skin...but we found out the other day that Calvin is allergic to eggs and milk. This isn't so bad now...he really can't eat these things, but I do. It has been coming through my milk and into him. Eric says that I have weaponized my breast milk. I have since given up most dairy and eggs (only the really baked stuff is okay). I actually don't miss cheese very much. Calvin now has baby smooth skin. His scratches are disappearing. He is sleeping better, and I think he is happier too.

I am including a picture of the before and after.

BEFORE:


AFTER:


It is hard being a mommy. I feel my incompetence is so exposed. I worry that I will hurt him somehow because he is so fragile. I worry about tornados. I worry about lightning. I worry about mosquitos. I worry about him a lot of the time (do all mommies do this?). And at the same time I feel I am a rock star because my son is the smiliest at me (and Eric). I feel it is the best thing in the world that I often have the magic touch when comforting him. If any of you have any advice toward this...please feel free to dish it.

I think that is all for now. I will upload a few more pictures tomorrow!

-Amy